7 Ways to Help a Loved One Heal After Sexual Violence
- Jonathan Thompson
- Jul 14
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 15

Sexual violence leaves deep scars, and the journey to healing can be long and challenging. If someone you care about has experienced this trauma, you might feel helpless, unsure of how to offer support. The Turning Point, an organization dedicated to helping survivors, emphasizes that your role as a friend or family member is crucial. Here are seven ways you can help a loved one begin to get back on their feet:

1. Believe Them and Validate Their Experience:
This is perhaps the most critical first step. When a survivor shares their story, your immediate and unwavering belief is paramount. Avoid questioning their account or suggesting they might be mistaken. Instead, respond with empathy and validation, letting them know you hear them and believe them. Statements like, "I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I believe you," can make a profound difference.
2. Respect Their Choices and Pace: Healing is a deeply personal journey, and every survivor's path is unique. Your loved one might choose to seek therapy immediately, or they might need time before they're ready. They might want to report the assault, or they might not. Respect their decisions, even if they don't align with what you think is best. Empowering them to make their own choices helps restore a sense of control that was taken from them.
3. Listen Without Judgment: Creating a safe space for your loved one to share is vital. This means listening actively and without judgment. Resist the urge to offer unsolicited advice, try to "fix" the situation, or minimize their feelings. Your role is to be a compassionate presence, allowing them to express their emotions, whatever they may be – anger, sadness, fear, or confusion. Sometimes, just being there to listen is the most powerful support you can offer.
4. Offer Practical Support: Trauma can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offer practical assistance where you can. This might include helping with childcare, preparing meals, running errands, or accompanying them to appointments if they wish. Ask what would be helpful rather than assuming, as their needs may vary from day to day. Even small acts of kindness can provide much-needed relief.
5. Educate Yourself About Trauma: Understanding the common reactions to trauma can help you better support your loved one. Sexual violence can lead to symptoms like anxiety, depression, flashbacks, difficulty sleeping, and changes in behavior. Learning about these potential effects can help you respond with patience and empathy, recognizing that these are normal responses to an abnormal event. Resources from organizations like The Turning Point can be invaluable.
6. Encourage Professional Help (Without Pressure): While your support is invaluable, you are not a therapist. Professional help from a trained counselor or therapist specializing in trauma can provide your loved one with the tools and strategies they need to heal. Gently suggest resources like The Turning Point or other local crisis centers. Offer to help them find a therapist or even accompany them to an initial consultation if they feel comfortable. However, avoid pressuring them, as this can be counterproductive.
7. Practice Self-Care: Supporting a survivor can be emotionally taxing. It's important to remember to take care of your own well-being. Seek support from other friends, family members, or a professional if you find yourself struggling. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and maintaining your own mental and emotional health will enable you to provide sustained support to your loved one.

Remember, healing is not linear, and there will be good days and bad days. Your consistent, compassionate presence can be a powerful force in your loved one's recovery. By offering belief, a listening ear, and practical support, you can help them navigate the challenging path toward reclaiming their life after sexual violence.
If you or someone you know needs support after sexual violence, please reach out to The Turning Point or a local crisis center. You are not alone.
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